So Why Do Women Have Sex? - Roseline Nya

I’m beginning to think that women enjoy playing the victim when it comes to their sexual interactions with men. ‘Oh, he lured me into having sex with him’, one says. ‘Oh, he said if I do it, he will do that’, another says. ‘Oh, he said he loves me’, yet another says’. I’m tired of hearing all these excuses from women! They sound childish and silly to me. I’ve only met a few women who have alluded to the fact that they have sex because they want to, and I admire them for it. But to the greater part of the population, why don’t you have sex because you want to and not because a man asked you to?”

He was a cute stranger I met at a Lounge on the day I embarked on a mission to understand men’s perspectives on the science of one night stand, which generally refers to a single string-less sex encounter.

The move itself was impelled by **Rachel – a young woman who had cried foul to us, after a man she had only just met talked her into having sex with him, there and then, only to walk away, change his phone number and never contact her.

Who was this man who could convince a girl he had only just met to have sex with him? What antics did he employ? What did he say to her, exactly? What did he offer her? These were some of the questions we sought answers to. Yet, as Rachel’s words built her story, our experienced nostrils caught a whiff of a one-night stand. But the wide-eyed Rachel had been dazzled to believe that her love had finally found her.

An investigation was initiated. How do women save themselves from falling into the trap of deceptive, one-night-stand-seeking charmers? With what do women identify them by? We set out to answer.

Different men with mad love for the women in their lives spoke differently but all pointed to the fact that outwardly, there was no marked difference between a man who is solely out to hump once and dump, and a man who is genuinely interested in getting to know a woman. They said either of the two motives required “influencing” the subject’s emotions toward welcoming one and accepting all that one comes with. Therefore, a woman wouldn’t know unless she’s told what is in the heart or “allowed” to study the relationship over a considerably long period.

That reinforced our support for holding off on sex until you are sure of his intentions.

Then I spoke with the cute stranger and he made that statement. His words rang loudly in my ears. They held seeds of truth in them. Of course it is my place to defend the womenfolk, since I am a woman, and defend I did. But all I said did not reduce the weight of his question, “Why don’t you have sex because you want to and not because he asked you to?” Or, in my own words, “Why don’t you have sex because you are horny or have the hots for the guy and not because of what he said, does or own?”

That way you will not feel exploited if the relationship leads nowhere.

Understandably, the fact that women’s sexuality is constantly under the biased scrutiny of the society makes forming “virtuosity” every woman’s job; because even after much clarification has been given on the subject, most people, including women, still see as contemptible, she who has sexual needs and in any manner or form pursue after satisfying them.

We’re even told that women need emotional connection to desire sex but that isn’t entirely true, because different women have different levels of sexual drive and different levels of sexual freedom, which is why some women are passive about sex, while some are very active in the confines of a serious relationship, while, yet, some others have no qualms about casual sex; even one night stands, which some others are crying to be victims of.

So, to all the Rachels out there, next time you want to have consensual sex with a man, do it because you’re horny, keen, and curious to explore your sexuality. Not because you hope or think that the sex will lead to anything other than an orgasm.

And if that man happens to be a stranger you just met, use protection, but I don’t have ANY advice on how to fight off an axe-wielding, blood-thirsty cannibal; if a one night stand turns out to be one.

Post Credit:

Roseline Nya. A Nigerian writer and Blogger, soon-to-be Author and a believer. She holds a B.sc in Industrial Relations and Personnel management, from Lagos State University. Story-telling is deeply ingrained in her cells and, literally, drips out of her pores. 

Photo Credit

Dreamstime; A place to upload and download various photos of any kind. As long as due credits is transferred to them.

Need Help?

Helping cribbers is what we do at Ohen's Crib. Should in case you need any help relating to this post or other posts you have read on this blog. Do drop a comment below or simply email us at our official blog email; princejohnokosun@gmail.com and be sure to get a reply in a jiffy.

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Going Naked On Social Media - What's Your Take?

Trends, Latest and the new style is what the young teenagers all over the world now take as a study and living point. It might or might not be considered by humans that most of the actions taken has both its good and ugly side. Except one i guess, which is going naked on Social Media, i really don't see any thing good in it rather its all ugly. Why i said this, is my own take and i would love to hear your own take!!

Kim Kardashian Poses Naked To Celebrate Her 35th Birthday

Celebrities have deviated from what they do into what will improve their brand. A couple years back, a musician would get promoted through his/her music excellence but of recent, i think going naked is now the excellence point for them. (Don't violate your privacy just to get known). I still recall back when seeing a naked woman or man was irritating to the sight. Then girls would take their bath outside and all the boys would find somewhere to hide their faces. Is it still so?

We tend to follow what these anxious stars are doing to make money. It never really got nasty to me until i saw a picture of Kim Kardashian (a married woman with kids) showing of her breast and her husband just sitting and looking. I was wondering if nature and laws have changed, i was wondering if the right thing has now turned into the bad while the bad into right. It seems that we have forgotten that whatever goes up must surely come down and the further it goes the faster the speed of return.

Not just the white get involved in this, a rapper in Nigeria did it also. Shared some naked pictures on his social profile and got attention of bloggers including Linda Ikeji. How do we manage to look in the mirror and take our self a shot without clothes. Doesn't it make us fill exposed and stupid?. In Nigeria we have various religions, this made me wonder if any of the religions support it. I went into the Bible and search for any information about you going naked and i also asked colleagues who happen to be Muslims and none of them gave me a positive feedback.

So where is this idea coming from. Education enlightens us on being wise and conscious about everything we do. Back then when Nigerians lacked education and was ignorant about everything, we ended up as captives to co-humans. But that era is over, every average Nigerian can identify what is good from bad and what is wrong from right. So why do we still let this unhealthy western civilization affect our culture.

A girl who goes naked on social media, just as one did in the early hours of today, will definitely get quite a number of likes from friends, and also a few comments but dear, compare your worth to the value of the likes and comments? What do you gain, maybe its some bunch of losers calling you all sort of names while others are busy re-tweeting and sharing. Don't be the fraudster that play a trick on your own destiny.

Young Girl Poses Naked On Facebook Just to Get Likes

This is my take on Going Naked On Social Media. Its ugly, irritating and immoral regardless of whosoever is involved. You might be a celebrated star, a fashion model or social media user. Prostitution is prostitution and no matter the class, so also are you being stupid no matter who you are.

I have just said my take on it and if it violates your own, don't get offensive. We all have our own view of issues. This is why you should comment below and lets see what your take is!!

Dedication:

This post is dedicated to all internet user be male or female who have been abused by co media users in a way of posting naked photos of them selves showing either the breast section or the entire body. And also to those who are involved in this act, i think you should stop and place more value on your body.

Credits:

The above article was personally composed and edited by John Okosun (The Blog Admin) and all credits goes to him for taking his time to compile this for internet users. The photos in this post are a bit discrete but due to the special editing, It is more conducive and photo credits goes to the blog admin for his special skills at designing. (Original photos from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram).

Need Help?

Have you been involved in this act? and you wish to stop or you are having any issues with the above post?. Please do well to use the comment box so we can know how you feel and the precise way to interact with you and help you.

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Nigerian Lady List Reasons Why Women Love Sex Than Men

A Facebook user, Victoria Onwuchekwa, has got many of her followers talking and reacting! By posting some relationship issues or intimacy on her user account.

Talking about why she thinks women love sex more than men, read what Victoria Onwuchekwa posted on her page below:

So do you Think she is right?

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Mrs. Badly Behaved

I need help!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I think I’m losing my husband and almost ruining my marriage of less than 1 year, since we got married we haven’t stayed two weeks without quarreling. My husband has a big heart and is a genuinely good man but I think all the trouble I have given him is beginning to change him. Our fights have been nothing short of unnecessary.

We argue over the most irrelevant things such as money, time and normal human errors. When we do, We involve ourselves in the nastiest war of words, there is no hurtful word in this world that we have not called each other up to the extent that I hit him severally (I get physical). In the past when I over reacted, he has always forgiven me and shown me unconditional love but this recent time after we quarreled again , I think he has drawn away from me a bit, he now avoids me (guess he’s avoiding trouble).

I know he still loves me and wants the marriage to work but something in me keeps brewing animosity towards him, I keep remembering the hurtful words and his actions while we fought and have not been able to move on from it. I love my marriage and don’t want it to crash either but how can I get over the hurt of certain things that have happened. My intuition tells me this issue is spiritual and someone is trying to ruin my marriage. Probably a jealous person/ex or an evil spirit.

Cribbers I need your advice on what to do. I know some of u are married experienced and mature individuals who may have gone through same or seen similar issue, please advice. Thanks

This post was posted to a co-blogger site, And it needs your attention. So please do paste your solution in the comment box.

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Tolu Falode: The Stranger She Once Loved

Some women sit silently in a house of pain afraid to open the door of possibility, afraid to face the breath of blessings waiting and pounding with the wind on the door. They stay clattered, constrained, confused in a space of familiarity as they face the pain and internal disaster that comes from walking with a partner that does not provide comfort, shelter, peace, prosperity but instead gives pain, pressure, doubt, distraction-all because they are afraid of that door.

They stare at it sure enough-they stare at it and dream of the possibilities on the other side –what could happen if I ventured outside she silently wonders? She has no clue about the cost of her constraint on her true worth-value diminished in a house of dust, cobwebs clinging to walls of whispered promises that never weave into actions of warmth.

But she still sits, waiting and hoping for some change-some chance to clean this house up again-misunderstanding there is no path for answers in the dirt road of disaster. In settling for less, she compromised herself-she threw away a chance to have the best. In life’s tests-wherever you sit, wherever you choose to stand-look around your environment-it will show you the truth through objectivity-an infected bond suffers from disease at its core.

It could be as a simple as a couple of words spoken in confirmation when you know truly, its not enough-to a friend, a partner, a colleague or even to yourself-because even we sometimes try to lie to our conscience of what we truly want.

But the most usual form this desperation comes from, is when you settle for less than what you deserve in a relationship that has taken so much from you. When you fail to realize value is not meant to be hidden behind constant wounds of daily debates about feelings, answers, promises unkempt, words woven into lies that once rang with the comforting bell of truth-she listens for that sound as she looks at you-she wonders what has changed, she debates with her thoughts, silently trying to explain to herself before-the strong woman she used to be, the one with vision, the one who could see so clearly her worth-that its all worth it, it’ll change eventually-but her past self starts fading before her very eyes-and it scares her so deeply because now she can no longer hide from the lies.

She no longer knows herself-she no longer recognizes her voice-friends see the desperation in her eyes-a silent cry for help-maybe a hand raised in violence has grazed her cheek once more, as she pats it away with some powder, lying with each dab to her heart’s silent beating drum-to leave this place of pain, to step through that door and see what awaits her, to take away from her present place of torture, resentment, uncertainty, defeat.

But women have this strong ability to cling; combined with a maternal instinct to feed and nurture and provide for needs, it becomes a dangerous weapon she stabs herself with-over and over she feels the pain but still fails to walk away-she has paralyzed her legs with delay.

Addicted to this twisted form of love’s true face-she is confused about what her heart really means when it screams-because you see-she has become so used to the pain-she does not understand what it means. Words of courage have decreased in her vocabulary. She does not see, it is time to leave. She has become so used to the lies, she believes they are truths spoken from a mouth that holds no power to hide behind such vile views. She has become so blinded in this darkness she has adjusted to its light-and through its burdensome blight, has become crippled with expectations that don’t even exist-they are all a façade-but she cannot see because she has spent too long in this house, too long sat in a position of defeat. And so she resists the urge to change her ways-she resists the urge to speak. She silently cowers before his breath-afraid of its sting. She lies to herself consistently until her conscience loses its willingness to speak-even it has given up in defeat.

In this place, only she can remove the veil-only she has the power to see-but she fails to answer that inner voice that speaks from within-an intuition women are gifted with-a sense of knowing that our hearts speak even before our eyes are graced with the manifestation of its understanding.

That is the only key she has now but she has never tried it. Because she has killed so many positive thoughts that used to speak before he walked through her door, by compensating and exchanging her worth for his debts of distance, delay and distraction, she has handed herself over to a dungeon-and locked herself up. But this key, glimmers within-when it gets really dark-some are able to see it. Unfortunately others never discover it and remain holed up in that dark space of denial-rusting away in the cobwebs of lies that fail to speak revival.

The darker it gets, the more the voices that surrounded her, family and friends, become confused by the image she now presents-someone different than who they knew-but clouded behind so many lies, so many hurts, so much pains and pangs of pressure he used to slide through her practiced gaze with false words of affection, she cannot even see her true reflection-she cannot see her face-she believes only him-she trusts only his thoughts although they present her with shattered worth. And in this place, a very dangerous space, the only release is that key. Some wake up from that nightmare they do not even know they inhabit to find it, glistening in the dark corner of a dungeon they have become accustomed to its habits, the way the light shifts on the walls, the way shadows move across the floor, but this key is different they silently think-and so they try it. Watching its glistened form, its different glow-not the same as all the cobwebs and dust that surrounds it. And the more they glare, the more they see-maybe just enough to try and open the door with it.

But that is a few practiced steps-maybe one today, two tomorrow-sometimes days and months between each step because each one costs her heart so much- she has forgotten how to move in independent thought. A few make it to that door-a few less push the key through the lock-and only a twinkle walk through its passage to the other side-only a few open their eyes to the rays of the day’s sunshine.

But even this stage is where friends and family are needed to support them-as they move through that passage, as they take each step, notice their words, a silent scream for help-they may forget the words, they may not be sure how to communicate these new thoughts-but watch their movement, watch their form, and extend a helping hand to help them rediscover their worth.

She has found the stranger she once loved-she has rediscovered herself while limping through that door. Extend a helping hand to make sure she remembers this choice in its true form: a self birth of release from a cage of deception and defeat.

About Writer - Tolu Falode

Tolu Falode is a law graduate, an author, a freelance writer and motivational speaker. She loves sharing the Word and speaking about faith.

Blog: the-flame-of-faith.blogspot.com

Twitter: @tolufalode
Youtube: Tolu Falode
tolufalode@yahoo.com
thegiftofgrace.net

Facebook: Tolu Falode: Gift of Grace Youth Ministry

Instagram:fantheflame 

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Break Up Blues: 13 Thoughts to Help You Recover

Break up seems to be one great drama that spoils every other drama that has ever happened, it's still one of the biggest way of getting depressed, now this is why recovering is important in other to help us live right again and see things positively because according to recent discovering "being depressed changes the way you see things even colours". 

I have made a lot of researches on how to heal the heart of such disaster, this is while though i have put a lot of effort inside it to make it look more elegant and helpful, Psychology Today talks on "Break Up Blues: 13 Thoughts to Help Recover". I hope it helps you and lightens your world.

If you are puzzling as to why there are more breakups during the holidays than other times of the year, you are not alone. There are a plethora of articles about relationships tumbling down the rabbit hole.  However, if your heart is breaking because your love has left you, it is perhaps more important to look forward towards healing than looking back and hurting. Nonetheless, it may be helpful to understand “why it hurts so much.”

As with love at first sight, the pain of rejection affects the same areas of the brain as cocaine.  Love can bring on cocaine-like high in a fifth of a second. Brain wave studies reported by Stephanic Ortigue, Ph.D., identified “the cortical networks associated with passionate love.” But the reaction to the break-up can last for days.  In addition to emotional highs and lows, it can even include symptoms so severe that women in particular may find themselves in the emergency room with symptoms mimicking a heart attack.  

Heartbreak pain is triggered by a hormone experienced after the loss of a loved one, a traumatic ending to a love affair, or divorce. This sends the heart’s pumping ability into a type of freeze mode affecting the left ventricle. Dr. Elizabeth Mostofsky in the cardiovascular epidemiology research unit at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston and Harvard explained to me during earlier interviews that after the death of a loved one, the heart-attack risk is 21 times higher within 24 hours. 

After a breakup, long-term couples might feel as if they have lost a sense of self. Research by Dr. Celia Harris and colleagues at Macquarie University found that in terms of remembering by long term couples may develop interconnected or collaborative memories such as the names of musicals, vivid descriptions. Even if you are in a short term relationship, being left alone can  trigger anger, pain, and sadness. What is the solution?

13 Tips to Overcome Break-up Blues

After a breakup, even if you initiated the good-bye, you may find yourself crying more than usual and wishing you could crawl under the covers and stay there.  On the other hand, you may want to reach out to your friends and complain bitterly.  You may feel that you can never love again.  But love is always possible.  Here are some thoughts:

1. Start your days with Gratitude:  By expressing gratitude you remind yourself of the good times you shared and how you have been freed to find a love who values you, a love whom you value.
2. Resist the temptation to talk unkindly about your ex-love: Speaking kindly will encourage you to maintain a positive focus.
3. Practice Image Replacement: If you find yourself feeling alone and falling into a dark hole, find a photo of yourself when you were happy and in love.  Focus on the inner you, the person you know to be lovable and deserving of new love.
4. Consider Social Media: If you go to a social media site and see someone who interests you, connect and be positive rather than recounting all the reasons for your recent break-up. Smile broadly and flirt.
5. Try using a Gratitude Journal:  Research from Gary Lewandowski (2009) has found that writing about positive aspects of a break-up increases feelings such as comfort, confidence, empowerment, energy, happiness, optimism, relief, satisfaction, thankfulness, and wisdom. 
6. Be Careful About Expectations: When you meet someone new, be careful that you do not impose expectations upon the person. For example, if you wanted a more loving relationship because your previous relationship lacked warmth, do not see a romantic in someone who simply squeezes your hand.  And also watch for too much by way of public displays of affection.
7. Make a New Relationship Checklist:  Know the qualities you would like in a new partner. Think in terms of weighted averages.  If you find a new person who has everything you ever wanted on your wish list, but he/she is married for example, that one factor outweighs all the positives and that person should come off the list.
8. Guard against repeating the past:  A new person may have a different profession or different looks, but still have certain traits or characteristics of your past love, traits that precipitated a break-up. Look beyond looks.
9. Hug and be hugged:  Research has shown the value of hugs. If you have a friend in your life who gives good hugs -- extend your arms, reach out, and ask.  That person may not be “the one” for you, or even “the one for now.”  However, the warm and loving arms of someone who is sensitive and caring by nature is like the sunshine – a little goes a long way.
10. Remain open to Infatuation or even love at first sight with a careful eye: Keep in mind that you want a new friend or a new relationship rather than becoming what one friend refers to as “another notch on the bedpost of life.”
11. Make plans with friends who are upbeat, those who will encourage you to smile and embrace a new life about to unfold before you.
12. Embrace laughter: Before brooding about “alone on the holidays call a friend who makes you laugh until your sides ache. Keep in mind that laughter is attractive to both sexes. 
13. Try mindfulness exercises: In "Three Mindfulness Exercises to Improve Your Dating Life," Ken Page who writes "Finding Love" at PsychologyToday.com advocates approaching dating as an adventure of self-discovery.
    

In essence, rebound love may be just what the doctor ordered. Brumbaugh and Farley (2015) determined from two studies that there may be some benefit in rebound love.Keep yourself open to infatuation and love at first sight.  And if it is too soon for another love relationship, be open to the friendly hug of someone whose warm and loving personality should be on your “must-have” checklist. The tenderness of touch is healing.

Hope it helped you get over somethings in life and understand other. This article was piled up by me and originally written by Rita Watson MPH, a writer at the Psychology Today website.

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Top Reasons Why Most Girls Dislikes Condom

Sexual Infections

Although condoms are prescribed to reduce the spread of infections. Ironically, the latex allergies which are the strongest deterrent against Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) cause women to end up with yeast infections and others. Yeast infection simply means that too many yeast cells are growing in the woman’s “private part.” It is very common but don’t let it bother you too much because it can be easily treated.

No Children (Birth)

Some ladies do everything they can to avoid their partner using condoms. This is because they want children. They feel the best way to totally own a man is to be pregnant for him. However, they seduce their man to sleep with them without using a condom as such, they ‘hook’ the man when pregnancy surfaces.

Condom Breaks

It is better not to use a condom at all if it will end up breaking. Sometimes, while the heat is on and there is a high level of friction, a condom could break thereby exposing the woman to all dangers associated with casual sex. So, some women feel ‘why the need’ and prefer to be raw with their man.

It Reduces Sex Pleasure

In fact men mostly complain that the use of condoms do not enable them get maximum sensation. Women are also not left out. condoms reduce the level and passion one could have during intimacy. This is a major reason some women hate condoms. Who wanna have sex without pleasure?haven't seen any.

Smell Of The Latex

Some women have attributed the smell of condoms to that of a balloon. condom latex has a particular odious smell. Lots of users (male and female) have complained about this. As a result, these days, condoms are made in different flavours (banana, apple, strawberry, peach, etc).

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My Advice To Married Couples By Gerald Rogers

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had

1. Never stop courting.

Never stop dating. Never ever take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would own her hear and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. She choose you. Never forget that, and never get lazy in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. 

Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. 

 You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. She doesn't have to stay with you, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. 

 Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… 

Your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: 

It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she can't make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her: 

it is only because it is triggering something inside of you. They are your emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of you that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be:

When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to hold her and let her know it’s OK. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… Don't run away when she is upset. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… 

Don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday

Learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and Cherished. Ask her to create a list of 10 things that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. 

Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully with her. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually:

To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot

And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space

The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, especially after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable

You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16. Be fully transparent. 

If you want to have trust you must be willing to share everything… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. Drop the mask… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together

The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. 

Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. Forgiveness is Freedom. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. 

In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. These are lessons I learned the hard way.

These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time. If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.

One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for. Men, this is your charge: Commit to being an Epic lover. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.


References to My Advice to Married Couples After Divorcing My Wife Of 16 Years by Gerald Rogers

Source: more.ng/relationships/my-advice-to-married-couples-after-divorcing-my-wife-of-16-years-by-gerald-rogers | Visit http://more.ng/ for more

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had 1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. 2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. 3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her. 4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife. 5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not. 6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love. 7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were. 8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion. 9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier. 10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen. 11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is. 12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully. 13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid. 14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.) 15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes. 16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. 17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards. 18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win. 19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love. 20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure. SEE ALSO: 10 Truths You Were Never Told About Marriage In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time. If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for. MEN, THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about....

Source: more.ng/relationships/my-advice-to-married-couples-after-divorcing-my-wife-of-16-years-by-gerald-rogers | Visit http://more.ng/ for more

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had 1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love. 2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there. 3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her. 4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife. 5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not. 6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love. 7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were. 8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion. 9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier. 10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen. 11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is. 12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully. 13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid. 14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.) 15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes. 16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be. 17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards. 18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win. 19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love. 20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure. SEE ALSO: 10 Truths You Were Never Told About Marriage In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time. These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time. If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for. MEN, THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about....

Source: more.ng/relationships/my-advice-to-married-couples-after-divorcing-my-wife-of-16-years-by-gerald-rogers | Visit http://more.ng/ for more

Unknown 3:25 pm 0

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What Nigerian Ladies Think Men Desire

Nigerian ladies are quite one of the most interesting characters if not the most predictive. Its well known that every man desire something from a woman before making the decision to go on a chase but the actual issue here is what is this unique property that triggers the chasing attitude of a man as if he is a lion going for a hunt.

This has led some women into making personal observations and has landed in various conclusions some will say its my beauty, my face, my shape. hmm quite interesting that's why i mentioned earlier that Nigerian girls are interesting and predictive.

But before making my own conclusion on this i also had to do a lot of researches and interviews with some reasonable Nigerians both ladies and men because i had to figure out what she as a lady thinks! and what he as a guy actually desire! before such conclusion could be made. My review might contradict yours that is why we have the comment box below. If you have also tried this research you would figure out that though all men are not the same, there is still some similarities.

Now if you as a girl think that men desire beauty, then why do ugly girls have boyfriends even when they don't hide under make ups though beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but my dear don't be deceived "who don fine don fine and who don wowo don wowo". So if he prefers an ugly girl to a beautiful girl then there must be something special and unique. lets find out!

As i earlier said i had to organize interviews with some ladies on social media and also physical contact. After the whole interview thing all what i could actually figure out of what they were saying was my beauty, the size of my breast, my shape, my ukwu (so Nigerians call it), my moves, my eyes, my this my that. so on.

Many girls have because of what a man desire in them "ladies" done a lot of harm to their body. Yes that's true!. Today she is dark in complexion the next week she don turn white (Oyibo), Some ladies even shapen their body especially the celebrities who turn their breast and Bombs into balloons. Now is writing tattoos also one of the things ladies thing men desire in them? because i have noticed a lot ladies drawing tattoos.

Back then when i was quite young, I loved watching movies and whenever we saw a girl with tattoos on her body we always assumed that she was either a prostitute or a bad girl following boss so we called it then and many Nigerians did same. But now what has happened? is Tattoos now part of fashion? or its an act of ignorance?. Same goes for the boys!!.

What they post on Social Media

If you are the type that keep up with fashion like myself you would notice that new clothes coming on board which you would call trending while a ghetto girl would call "Nae dey rain" though beautiful and colorful are mainly exposing as they tend to expose provoking parts of the body. Do ladies also think that this is what men desire? hmm! Interesting

Social Media whoa. This is one of the funniest thing Nigerian girls now do and i would say for men sake. I once saw a friend of mine post a photo on Facebook with make up, painting the face with various colors. Guess what the tag was? Well she wrote "Just woke up and still on my bed" so she don de make up sleep abi?. Now there is a fact ladies seem to be neglecting. No too rush i go talk am later.

Do you know the amount of money spent on make up kits by women?. If you are a lady you should know. Am not trying to be insultive but am just making you know something very important and easy which i know would help Nigerian ladies a lot in terms of what men want. Back to what i said earlier there are various men and they desire various things.

Actually to my observation a man who doesn't really see any unique character in you and still want to go on a chase like a lion on a hunt, then he is definitely flirting with you or probably a player. Its only a player that will meet you at a club without seeing your face and still want to date you.

So in this article i won't be focusing on what a male player desire in you rather on what a serious gentleman who is ready to put that golden ring on your fingers without even asking about your virginity status. Sounds funny right? well after reading everything here you will know why i made such statement. Back to the ladies. I wrote an article Reasons why you should not lose your virginity as a teenager. I think you should read the article after you do, you should definitely know why he should engage you without knowing if you are a virgin.

When you are considering choosing a man out of many other men to be your boyfriend or husband what do you keep in mind? don't you desire something? well i know you do and that's the same way men do keep in mind what they desire in a woman. Recently female celebrities are now getting married successfully in the likes of Mercy Johnson Okojie and others. I think its because some has started doing what is right.

The Western ladies especially those found on social medias and TV reality shows has also kinda miss led lot of Nigerians. In a the western world a child has his/her right to choose whether to go for an errand or not, also an 18-year old girl can date a boy with her parents being aware but is it same over here in Nigeria and Africa at large?. Every reasonable gentle man respects culture, norms and ethics. And culture doesn't support what you learn from the westerners.

The things a gentle man really want from a women are very common and known by all but not practiced. When i started having a little difficulty in composing this article i had to reach out to someone elderly. Then he said yes its true we men like it when a woman is beautiful and attractive and as that is the first wave that blows us to her crib. But that's where the beauty stop. He then gave an example on how he met a girl who was really beautiful and well shaped, that made the first impression. As a boy he went on a chase just for him to make an introduction, he was shock as the girl's accent was a no go area. Illiteracy could be seen in her words and expressions that killed everything

What they Now call Fashion

Education which i explained above is a great property a Nigerian man desires in a  woman. The ability to speak English fluently is not all what education is all about. Just the same way every woman wants a man who is educated and have hope of a working future that is the same way a man wants a woman who is educated and have hopes of being self dependent in the future.

What would you do if you proposed to a girl and the next thing your boyfriends start telling you the number of times they slept with her or even her friends telling you what she has done. Well they may say the past is not the future well things can be forgiven but things can not be forgotten. A wise Architect knows despite the foundation not being the beauty of the building, it determines how the structure would look.

This has to do with morality and decency in everything you do. You might think the men love it yes they actually love it just as a wise Nigerian man would say am taking my own share. Maybe that's why they buy you all you want to take their share. And all these will come back to decide and hurt in the future. So practicing morality from now is a great step to meeting that real man.

You are at home or in school spending your father's and boyfriend's money. Buying all the latest jewelries in the beauty shops, driving the latest rides and forgetting the fact that you have to be hard working or would you as a girl marry a boy who isn't hard working? then if you won't why should he?

There are so many things ladies do to attract men but attracting a man shouldn't be your goal because not everything that glitters is gold. Expensive clothes, make up packs, shoes and jewelries doesn't mean you are expensive. Fashion comes and goes. So shall all those that live in it. Life is more than the clothes. Your mistakes of today won't just affect you but everything and everyone that have you as a source later in Life.

In short, a man don't want you for your gold, clothes, beauty, big breasts rather he wants you for something that is priceless. Don't sell it before finding the right man for you. What you don't want in Others, you should not practice it.

I believe i have just been able to explain to you what Nigerian Ladies Think Men Desire and What men actually desire in ladies. Use the comment box to share you feelings.

Unknown 12:00 am 0

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Tricks to Being a Good Kisser | Learn to Kiss a Girl like a Pro

You have kissed a lot of girls but none of t ever call you a good kisser or you the shy type afraid of kissing?. Every one always have these problems although some persons find easy being a good kisser. Well lets say they are lucky to have such talent but what about you how isn't a good kisser?. Can i become a good kisser? is that what you are asking yourself?. Well stop the doubts you can become a good kisser.

This issue of having boring kisses is between the both parties so if your girl isn't also that good in kissing then share this post with her. I experienced this few years back, it all felt like my ex could kiss more than my girlfriend. It was all really boring for me but me being considerate i thought of her also and knew she too was bored. guest what i did?

Do you know boring kisses can lead you into cheating or even flirting? yes it can, it has happened and still happening. I still remember when a friend who had a crush on me kissed me surprisingly. Whenever i remember i always want to go kiss her over and over again. Especially the ways she act during a kiss. Lets take a quick look.

To be a good kisser is very easy you just need to learn a few habits. not bad habits but good ones which is healthy for you.

Work on your Breath-: This implies having a good breath.  Nobody wants to taste garlic or any other food while kissing you. So having a good breath will help eradicate the turn off option for her. I advice you embark on regular brushing of your teeth, your tongue, and also using mouth wash to keep a good breath, i also suggest drinking water and chewing mints instead of drinks like beer, fruit juice etc.

Make her Want you: This is more of being a flirt, yes you have to flirt a little with your girl. Appreciate her natural looks like telling her you are cute, tease all you want but don't forget keep the atmosphere romantic as this will build up a good kissing ground for you. Doing this is quite important as it is easier to kiss a girl who wants you. Do the weird things with her, touch her respectfully as she is prone to hit constantly.

Unleashing the Technic: Now its time to give a kiss but do you know asking her can i kiss you? is a sign of respect? guess you were just informed. You can try it too. Move your head closely and slowly towards her as this is a sign to show that you are coming for a kiss. Go 90% and let her go the other 10% learnt that from Will Smith in the movie Mr Hitch.

Try a simple mouth-closed kiss but make it romantic. Mountains are climbed from the lowest part so we don't want to rush her or make her feel suffocated. Move your head sideways to avoid bumping your nose on hers because here we want the lips to meet not the nose. If she is a passionate or deep kisser, she might hold your lips with hers for a long time. Don't move your lips just follow her lead.

Try using your hands to do some magic by cupping her face with your hand slowly and probably giving a stroke with your thumb but don't forget, always keep one arm on her waist. Among all what you have been doing you have to be romantic, tender, loving and passionate. As i earlier said don't suffocate her so its time to breathe, gently move away from her lips and kiss her on her forehead and cheek. Everything have an end so you can stop after some few seconds but that's not the end, as being a good kisser requires going pro.

Going Pro: Doing this is just in a few steps but its the main thrilling part of kissing. Learn how to french kiss, it might look weird but young man you got to add this to your kissing skills. do the make out thing though it seems hard but you have to try it and do not over do it as you need to keep things interesting.

Every girl loves a passionate kisser. It's easy to do as all you need to do is relax and let your feelings come out. Do a lot of touching, make the lips and tongue useful. Tease her lips with your tongue and keep the fire burning. Trust matters in everything so you need to do the trust thing and learn to kiss among people this generally happens, normally if you have dated the girl for a long time.

Regularly try out these procedures but please learn to be creative as trying out the same procedure each time will make her bored. So try to mix things up, can even remove or add but make sure you keep the tricks of being a good kisser. Its not about the kisser rather about the kiss so you need to impress her each time and get ready to get all the girls wanting to kiss.

Now back to the above question in paragraph two, i worked on myself as doing this made her feel more attracted to me and i tell you kissing was more fun and lasting for us. She even asked me to kiss her in public. Try out these procedures, it worked for me and many other boy. Share you thoughts and questions in the comment box.

Unknown 1:48 am 0

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How to Survive a Teenage Heartbreak : Coping Well

Hello dear.

Loneliness is one of the very big thing young teenagers like you fear. And if you just had a breakup and you are feeling lonely well dear you are not. Its just a feeling not reality. You might also be thinking that your life is over well dear once again you are wrong. You life is still far from over. You might also be feeling like he/she is the best for me. Well dear that's another lie, he/she is not the best because the best is still yet to come.

If you are having all these feelings its normal for you its part of life that's why its called a break up. But just so you get a little understanding before we continue all these above named feelings and questions are all tagged under depression. You are only being depressed, so dear don't cry your self out you are still very young and your future is very much better and brighter than your present.

What is Break Up

 Lots of things happen during and before a break up. But most times in the life of young teenagers like you it often leads to a heartbreak which is actually very hurtful but sometimes it doesn't. Some individuals now even take break up as a chapter in life which opens a better chapter better than the former.

Also Read: Reasons Why You Should Not Lose Your Virginity as a Teenager 2015 Review

What is Heartbreak

 Lots of things can cause heartbreak. Some people might have had a romantic relationship that ended before they were ready. Others might have strong feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe a person feels sad or angry when a close friend ends or abandons the friendship.

Although the causes may vary, the feeling of loss is the same — whether it's the loss of something real or the loss of something you only hoped for. People describe heartbreak as a feeling of heaviness, emptiness, and sadness.

How to Cope with a break Up/ Heartbreak

Break up as define above is a feeling of emptiness and sadness only have a simple remedy and its "Learn when to hold on, Give up and Run". This easy remedy was motivated by a song called Gambler by legend Kenny Rogers and this has worked wonders for a lot of persons who were once in your situation.

Most people will tell you you'll get over it or you'll meet someone else, but when it's happening to you, it can feel like no one else in the world has ever felt the same way. If you're experiencing these feelings, there are things you can do to lessen the pain

Now lets try to expatiate on how to deal with the turmoil and pain of ending a relationship and how to let go of your ex and move on with your life.

Work on Yourself: Be Kind to Yourself.

Everything is about you. Moving on is all about yourself, your decision, your understanding. This is why in this round coping with a heartbreak  is all about you because really you don't know how the other person is feeling so lets take it personal.

Also Read: How to Prevent Your Husband From Cheating On You

Recognize, Understand And Release Your Feeling

The first step of working on yourself is recognizing your feeling, do not lie about the fact that you love this person, accept it because recognizing it will help you understand it. Now try your best to understand it, Understanding it means you knowing why you love this person, why you were always there for this person and the efforts you made in the relationship. After the previous step now you should know how to let the feelings go. (hint: if you were not at fault, after the previous steps then you should see that there is no need to keep the feelings) this will make it easy for you to let go.

Cry All You Want: Don't be Ashamed

Crying has been found to be helpful in this situation, We find it irresistible to stop crying now am telling you don't stop yourself from crying. Let the tears flow, it's healthy you are releasing grief and pain. You may be afraid to start because you're fearful you'll never stop, but you will. So just cry.

Take Good Care of Yourself

A broken heart can be very stressful so don't let the rest of your body get broken too. Get lots of sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly to minimize stress and depression and give your self-esteem a boost. Do something everyday to help yourself heal. Exercise, read, watch some self-help TV/DVD's, learn to meditate and never underestimate the power of positive prayer. Pick things that you know will be fun or beneficial and do them. Don't wait for the mood to come over you, take one action and then take another. If you love singing and dancing. Then dance and sing. Do what you like, it will help. Sometimes traveling to new amazing places like resorts, beaches is also helpful.

Keep Yourself Busy or Engaged always

As we already know boring moments and thinking comes as a result of not doing anything, so don't give it a chance. Sometimes this is difficult when you're coping with sadness and grief, but it really helps. This is a great time to redecorate your room or try a new hobby. That doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened — working things through in our minds is all part of the healing process — it just means you should focus on other things too. Don't sit in your room and ruminate, you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.

Accept  Being Single

 Getting over your ex is virtually impossible if you're fantasizing about getting back together. It's important to learn how to be happy as a single person before you start to date again.

Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want, when you want. Watch a cheesy movie you would never admit to liking. Switch off your cell phone at the time your ex used to call. Perform a cleansing ritual, such as throwing away her yearbook photo or deleting his mushy e-mails. You'll be amazed how much better you'll feel.

 Also Read: Best Time To Have Sex With Your Partner

Share your Feelings to Others And Research

Share your Feeling: Getting over your ex is virtually impossible if you're fantasizing about getting back together. It's important to learn how to be happy as a single person before you start to date again. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want, when you want. Watch a cheesy movie you would never admit to liking. Switch off your cell phone at the time your ex used to call. Perform a cleansing ritual, such as throwing away her yearbook photo or deleting his mushy e-mails. You'll be amazed how much better you'll feel.

Research: Find out what others, who have not just survived but thrived after their relationships ended did to achieve peace of mind. There are some great books on surviving a breakup, my friend's favorite is "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" by Peter McWilliams. This little gem will give you insight, exercises and some sage advice for dealing with this heart wrenching issue.

Some people feel that nothing will make them happy again and resort to alcohol or drugs. Others feel angry and want to hurt themselves or someone else. People who drink, do drugs, or cut themselves to escape from the reality of a loss may think they are numbing their pain, but the feeling is only temporary. They're not really dealing with the pain, only masking it, which makes all their feelings build up inside and prolongs the sadness.
Sometimes the sadness is so deep — or lasts so long — that a person may need some extra support. For someone who isn't starting to feel better after a few weeks or who continues to feel depressed, talking to a counselor or therapist can be very helpful.

So be patient with yourself, and let the healing begin. And in all do not forget that you are not the first to be in this situation neither are you the last.

Reference/Source

• Psychology Today :- 10 Tips to Survive a Break-up

• Teenadvice.about.com :- Surviving a Breakup: 7 Time-Tested Tips 
• Kidshealth.org :- Getting over a break-up

Photos Credit/ Source

• msn :- 20 ways to survive and feel better after a breakup 
• huffingtonpost ;- 4 steps to help your teen survive your divorce

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